I was writing another article and it occurred to me that sometimes I write an
article for myself, like during a hard time, to remind myself of what I already
know - to bring what I know into mindfulness. Knowing is the easy part. It's
the mindfulness that is the lifelong struggle for us. With practice and
diligence, we will get better at being mindful and it'll get easier, but because
of the nature of specific focus, complete mindfulness will be a challenge.
Ask anyone who's ever read a great self-help book. While reading a self-help
book we're excited and elated and convinced this is our magic bullet - and maybe
it is. We finish the book and think for a day or three about how we can apply
what we've learned in our lives, but in another day or so, it's all gone. We
didn't get the help we needed, despite the book being a great book. Why?
Because we learned something life-changing, but we didn't have the mindfulness
to make the changes.
Mindfulness is the ability to keep something at the forefront our minds
during other activities and preoccupations. We must have the mindfulness to
catch ourselves doing the undesired behavior and the mindfulness to then apply
the great stuff we've learned. Most of us have a difficult time with
mindfulness because there's so much other stuff we're focusing on, like the
day-to-day grind, problems that arise, our work, our kids, our spouses, our
in-laws, our parents, and a plethora of rotating problems. We get so wrapped up
in the day-to-day that not only is what we read in the self-help book a million
miles away, but our mental habits are so rote that the things we want to change
in there just blaze on by without us giving them a thought. So we're stuck on
this hamster wheel of problems. We read another self-help book and another and
another and they are all magic bullets. They are all stuff we already know.
They are all great books. But we go, go, go around the hamster wheel thinking
those great things we know must not really work anyway because the magic bullet
part is missing. It's missing the part that transforms our lives.
My friends, the magic bullet part - the part that transforms our lives - is
the part only we can do. This is our work.
No book can be mindful for us. Alas, the hardest part of making positive
changes is the part that's our job to do! How can we learn to be mindful when
the rest of life is so overwhelming?
We can narrow our focus and instead of trying to be mindful of everything
we want to change, we can focus on just one thing at a time.
We can practice being mindful for short periods of time in the beginning.
The promise to self to stay mindful all day is quickly forgotten in the
busyness of the day. Start with 15 minutes. Do your regular business, but
for the next 15 minutes eavesdrop on yourself and try to catch yourself in the
undesired behavior or thought process. Gradually increase your time once you
have some success. Soon you will have been mindful enough times to have made
your one, small change. Now tackle another in the same way. Just one at a
time and work on it until you resolve it.
We can leave ourselves notes to remind us to be mindful. If you can't do
this is your situation, buy some dots. Associate your need to be mindful of
this one thing with a certain colored dot. Stick those darned dots
everywhere. You will know what the dot means, but others will not.
We can meditate. Don't meditate focused on your problem. Meditate to
open your mind to mindfulness. Meditate to quiet the chatter so that it's
easier to be mindful. Meditate to chop down stress reactions in your daily
life. Meditate.
We can "prepave". Prepaving is where you spend a few minutes plotting out
a future event the way you'd like it to happen. Like say you have an
important sales meeting tomorrow at which you must make a presentation.
Instead of entertaining worries, you would envision the day ahead of you. See
yourself getting dressed for the meeting, your hair going right, your suit
looking great. See yourself have an effortless, peaceful drive into work,
even arriving a few minutes early. See yourself giving your presentation.
See it being received warmly and positively. See your prospects being sold.
Play it all out like a movie in your mind or like a memory of something that's
already happened. Feel the joy at having been successful and getting a clap
on the back from your boss or a promotion. See your desired outcome - your
best case scenario. This is prepaving. The days play out much like we
expect, so learn to expect better days!
These are just a few examples of how we can train ourselves to increase our
mindfulness. Anyone can do it. It doesn't depend on intelligence or good looks
or good luck. It just takes practice and the desire to achieve it. Anyone can
practice and desire. In fact, you're practicing and desiring *something* all
the time!
Now don't make the mistake of telling yourself, "Wow, I *suck* at
mindfulness!" because statements like these are part of the problem. If you
caught yourself saying that or a similar thing, let that be your first thing to
be mindful of... self deprecating self talk. Get rid of it. It will never do
you any good ever. How's that for using a two absolutes in one sentence?
Regardless of the double absolute, it's as true as "sky" or "water". There's no
need for proof because the truth of it is right there.
If you're practicing mindfulness and you fall down, don't berate yourself.
Just get up and start practicing again. No harm, no foul. Just get going
again. It's not important whether we fall in our struggle for mindfulness, it's
important that we get up and try again.
What's one thing you'd like to be more mindful of?
About the author:
Cynthia Clinton is an emotional energy counselor, fitness trainer, author,
mortgage consultant, artist, and jewelry designer. She is the founder of Wholy
One Wellness Center in Gilroy, CA (95020) 408-310-2126. You can find her on
the web at
www.wholyone.com. To contact Cynthia for a mortgage in California,
find her at
www.cynthiaclinton.com/mortgages.htm or call 408-310-0027 or toll-free in
California 1-888-701-0808.
Note: You can also read these articles and more, include lighter,
personal entries, art, jewelry, jewelry making, food, recipes, etc. at my blog
at www.cynthiaclinton.com/blog.
Mindfulness
By Cynthia Clinton
I was writing another article and it occurred to me that sometimes I write an
article for myself, like during a hard time, to remind myself of what I already
know - to bring what I know into mindfulness. Knowing is the easy part. It's
the mindfulness that is the lifelong struggle for us. With practice and
diligence, we will get better at being mindful and it'll get easier, but because
of the nature of specific focus, complete mindfulness will be a challenge.
Ask anyone who's ever read a great self-help book. While reading a self-help
book we're excited and elated and convinced this is our magic bullet - and maybe
it is. We finish the book and think for a day or three about how we can apply
what we've learned in our lives, but in another day or so, it's all gone. We
didn't get the help we needed, despite the book being a great book. Why?
Because we learned something life-changing, but we didn't have the mindfulness
to make the changes.
Mindfulness is the ability to keep something at the forefront our minds
during other activities and preoccupations. We must have the mindfulness to
catch ourselves doing the undesired behavior and the mindfulness to then apply
the great stuff we've learned. Most of us have a difficult time with
mindfulness because there's so much other stuff we're focusing on, like the
day-to-day grind, problems that arise, our work, our kids, our spouses, our
in-laws, our parents, and a plethora of rotating problems. We get so wrapped up
in the day-to-day that not only is what we read in the self-help book a million
miles away, but our mental habits are so rote that the things we want to change
in there just blaze on by without us giving them a thought. So we're stuck on
this hamster wheel of problems. We read another self-help book and another and
another and they are all magic bullets. They are all stuff we already know.
They are all great books. But we go, go, go around the hamster wheel thinking
those great things we know must not really work anyway because the magic bullet
part is missing. It's missing the part that transforms our lives.
My friends, the magic bullet part - the part that transforms our lives - is
the part only we can do. This is our work.
No book can be mindful for us. Alas, the hardest part of making positive
changes is the part that's our job to do! How can we learn to be mindful when
the rest of life is so overwhelming?
We can narrow our focus and instead of trying to be mindful of everything
we want to change, we can focus on just one thing at a time.
We can practice being mindful for short periods of time in the beginning.
The promise to self to stay mindful all day is quickly forgotten in the
busyness of the day. Start with 15 minutes. Do your regular business, but
for the next 15 minutes eavesdrop on yourself and try to catch yourself in the
undesired behavior or thought process. Gradually increase your time once you
have some success. Soon you will have been mindful enough times to have made
your one, small change. Now tackle another in the same way. Just one at a
time and work on it until you resolve it.
We can leave ourselves notes to remind us to be mindful. If you can't do
this is your situation, buy some dots. Associate your need to be mindful of
this one thing with a certain colored dot. Stick those darned dots
everywhere. You will know what the dot means, but others will not.
We can meditate. Don't meditate focused on your problem. Meditate to
open your mind to mindfulness. Meditate to quiet the chatter so that it's
easier to be mindful. Meditate to chop down stress reactions in your daily
life. Meditate.
We can "prepave". Prepaving is where you spend a few minutes plotting out
a future event the way you'd like it to happen. Like say you have an
important sales meeting tomorrow at which you must make a presentation.
Instead of entertaining worries, you would envision the day ahead of you. See
yourself getting dressed for the meeting, your hair going right, your suit
looking great. See yourself have an effortless, peaceful drive into work,
even arriving a few minutes early. See yourself giving your presentation.
See it being received warmly and positively. See your prospects being sold.
Play it all out like a movie in your mind or like a memory of something that's
already happened. Feel the joy at having been successful and getting a clap
on the back from your boss or a promotion. See your desired outcome - your
best case scenario. This is prepaving. The days play out much like we
expect, so learn to expect better days!
These are just a few examples of how we can train ourselves to increase our
mindfulness. Anyone can do it. It doesn't depend on intelligence or good looks
or good luck. It just takes practice and the desire to achieve it. Anyone can
practice and desire. In fact, you're practicing and desiring *something* all
the time!
Now don't make the mistake of telling yourself, "Wow, I *suck* at
mindfulness!" because statements like these are part of the problem. If you
caught yourself saying that or a similar thing, let that be your first thing to
be mindful of... self deprecating self talk. Get rid of it. It will never do
you any good ever. How's that for using a two absolutes in one sentence?
Regardless of the double absolute, it's as true as "sky" or "water". There's no
need for proof because the truth of it is right there.
If you're practicing mindfulness and you fall down, don't berate yourself.
Just get up and start practicing again. No harm, no foul. Just get going
again. It's not important whether we fall in our struggle for mindfulness, it's
important that we get up and try again.
What's one thing you'd like to be more mindful of?
About the author:
Cynthia Clinton is an emotional energy counselor, fitness trainer, author,
mortgage consultant, artist, and jewelry designer. She is the founder of Wholy
One Wellness Center in Gilroy, CA (95020) 408-310-2126. You can find her on
the web at
www.wholyone.com. To contact Cynthia for a mortgage in California,
find her at
www.cynthiaclinton.com/mortgages.htm or call 408-310-0027 or toll-free in
California 1-888-701-0808.
Note: You can also read these articles and more, include lighter,
personal entries, art, jewelry, jewelry making, food, recipes, etc. at my blog
at www.cynthiaclinton.com/blog.
Pursuant to California Senate Bill SB577: Cynthia Clinton and Wholy One Wellness Center does not claim to practice medicine, prescribe for or diagnose disease; does not hold out, state, indicate, advertise or imply that she is a licensed physician. The materials and content contained in this website are for general education only and are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Users of this website should not rely exclusively on information provided in this website for their own health needs. All specific medical questions should be presented to your own health care provider.
