Attracting Better Mates

• Ever notice that bad relationships don't seem to happen as single events, but in a whole string?
• Have you ever thought all you could attract were the assholes?
• Or the lying, cheating types?
• Or "gold diggers"?
• Or the people who turn out to have some kind of drug problem?
• Or abusive relationships?

The list goes on forever, but the point is... does it seem like you've had more than your fair share of a certain "type" of person in your life?

After a break up, most people have laundry lists of stuff they don't want to happen again.  They focus on what they don't want in a prospective partner.  Some even go so far as posting their unwanted characteristics lists on the internet at sites like MySpace, then a whole bunch of other people with lousy relationships respond back with sympathy and "encouraging" comments.  It's one big pity party and they all play off each other.  There are replays both public and private about all the drama that occurred, all this "he said/she said" talk around the water cooler at work.  Everyone chimes in with their own horror story like it's some kind of competition.  On and on and on.

You know what this achieves?  A negative vortex or downward spiral.  So much of the person's attention is on the bad stuff that when they start looking around for who's next, they are going to attract exactly the same type of person and the same kind of treatment.  How does this happen?  Think of your attention - your focus - as a very powerful magnifying glass (Ever see A Series of Unfortunate Events?  Like that one!) and whatever we focus it on is going to get much larger.  If all you can think about is your headache, it gets much worse.  If you can focus on something else for awhile, it starts to fade as the other things in your awareness grow.  The same with any problem or worry - problems and worries grow larger with your attention.

To get the kind of partner you really want, you must turn the powerful magnifying glass of your focus onto the qualities you'd like to have like: loving, supportive, funny, warm, loyal, etc.
 

Coming soon!  This class is still in development, but it's NEXT.